Come here Aria, and don't make me ask again. I'm in a bad fucking mood."- he ordered.

I'm thinking of two options right now, the first is going to him and who knows what he might do to me and the second is running away. But where would I go, they will catch me before I even approach the gates and the punishment would be much much worse.

So I swallowed my spit and slowly walked towards him. My heart is beating so loudly I think I will have a heart attack. The more closer I get to him the more tense I get.

When I was close to him he grabbed my waist and sat me on his lap. Not the reaction I expected.

" I'm sorry!"- he said, his voice gentle

" I'm in a bad mood but shouldn't take it out with you!"- he kissed my head and hugged me. Fuck me? Did he really apologised for his temper. I never thought he has the ability to apologise.

Guess the man is full of surprises. And I thought he would hit me. My heart is going to normal and I feel less tense. The more I relaxed on his lap the more I felt like crying, and then I couldn't hold them as they wet my face. Why the fuck am I crying? Is it because the last few days I've cried so much that now my tears fell freely? Or it's because of relief, because I expected him to hit me.

" Don't cry baby, I'm sorry!"- he said hugging me.  He apologised again. Is he truly sorry?Then all the men got up except for Silas, who was still holding me on his lap. His hands were stroking my thighs, not in a sexual way and they were gentle.

" Where are you going?"- Silas asked.

Kade answered first" I'm going to check the warehouses."

" Me too."- Colin said.

Silas chuckled then barked "Fucking cowards. Running away because I'm in a bad mood."

I've never seen the boys talking back to Silas, not once. Not even Logan. And they aren't scared of him, they just love and respect him so much, which make me wonder how their childhood was.

When all of them have left, I lifted my head and looked at him. He smiled as he looked at me.

" Why are you in a bad mood?"- i ask.

He gently put my hair behind my ear.

" The bussines,"- he replies.

The bussines, what kind of business. They never speak about work in front of me.

" And may I know what kind of business do you own?"- i ask.

" Illegal business,"- he says, confirming my thoughts. I knew Silas is dealing with drugs because my brother worked for him.

" Only drugs?"- i ask.

" Don't ask,"- he said, clearly he doesn't want me to know. That's okay I guess, because I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt that I'm warming  criminals bed.

But there's one question I can't take off my mind

" Have you ever killed someone?" The words are fast as they get out of my mouth. And his answer was shocking

" I've lost counting."

I don't know what I expected, I had a feeling that he's a murderer but he has killed so many people that he has lost counting. That's cruel.

" Were all of them guilty or you have killed innocent too,"- my words came out harsh. Like judging him and in a way I am.

" Aria,"- he growled " Stop with the fucking question, I'm not in a good mood," that's the second warning.

I'm close to crossing the line and he will get violent. I don't want that, I need his good side.

" Let me make you feel good!"- i said.  He nodded. I shouldn't do this, shouldn't offer myself to him willingly. He has forced me for god's sake but there's a part of me deep buried that wants to come out. The part where I say fuck you to the guilt I'm feeling everyday for enjoying it. I don't want to feel pain while doing it and I also don't want to enjoy it.

My mind is in a big fucking dilemma.

I once read a book about a captive fighting to not enjoy her kidnapper touch, about fighting it tooth and nail but in the end she gave up. She submitted, not only because of the pain but because her body wanted it even when her mind said she shouldn't. She submitted because she was tired of the fighting between her mind and body. And now in a way I feel like I can understand her. Because I'm tired too of this fighting.

I'm tired of facing everyday the new dilemma. I've had enough feeling guilty because I enjoyed it and because it made me feel alive. But right now I'm not doing this for me.

It's not like I don't want it, but I don't want him to stay in a bad mood either. Bad mood Silas means trouble. And I'm tired of getting punished for the smallest thing. I've seen his eyes glint when he's about to punish me. He loves it and in a way I like it too. I don't like it when they hit my face but I've liked it when he punished me with his belt and even yesterday I kind of liked when Logan punished me with the cane.

I've always wondered what it would be like, but I've never thought I would be where I am today.

I went to my knees and slowly unbuckled his belt while holding eye contact. He wasn't smiling but he wasn't glaring at me either. He was looking at me with that poker face that he has mastered so well.

When I took his cock out he was semi hard. At least he's not always thinking with his dick.

Look at me, choosing to give my captor a blow job in a few weeks I've been here. It doesn't look like me. But I've changed. They have changed me. They have confused my mind, both with their gentle side and the rough, violent side. It's like they have balanced  both sides with strings and know which string to pull in the right moment.

They make me crazy. Needy. They made my body ache for their touch. I'm ashamed to say but my pussy is dripping right now. Definitely it's their looks that draws me to him. Their souls are too black. I started by licking the head of his cock and he hissed a breath. Then I licked his length. He was growing hard and in a few seconds he was rock hard.

I sucked his head before I pulled him deep in my mouth, the head of his cock hitting my throat. I choked and immediately took him out of my mouth, spluttering and coughing. Silas chuckled and he grabbed the top of my hair, his grip firm but not tight.

" Eyes on me baby and open that sweet mouth,"- he ordered. I looked at his lust filled eyes and he guided my head up and down on his cock until he was getting close and tightened his grip on my hair and he thrusted deep in my throat. I gagged but he didn't let me go until he spilled down my throat and I swallowed it all.

" Better?"- i asked when he tugged himself back in.

He smiled a little, then grabbed the tablecloth and threw the dishes on the floor. What the....?

Then grabbed me by my hair and lifted me. He let my hair and grabbed my waist, lifted me and slammed my ass on the table.

" Ouch!"- my ass fucking hurts.

He lifted an eyebrow. He grabbed the waistband of the pants and took the off along with my panties. Then he turned me to the side and saw my ass. He traced the red lines with his fingers.

" What did you do to him to make him do this?"- Silas asked while he turned me and layed me down on the table on my back. Gently.

"  I said " fuck you" when we were to the mall!"- i said. Now that I'm thinking of it I bought a phone but I never saw the phone. They didn't gave me the phone.

" By the way, where's my phone?"- i asked.

" It's in my office."- he said.

" When you're going to give it to me?"- i asked and he glared at me.

" Anything urgent?"- he says, raising an eyebrow

" No, "- i say.

" Focus on you studies, leave the phone!"- he said and then sat down on the chair and opened my legs. Oh my god, is he going down on me? Unbelievable! I thought the man was all about control and dominance.

His head went down and he licked my clit and it felt so good that I moaned, then he moved his tongue up and down from my clit to my pussy then put his tongue inside fucking me with it. I saw stars. He's freaking good at it. While I told Logan's yesterday to stop, today I told Silas to not stop whatever magic was he doing. He made me come with only his tongue in a few minutes. When he lifted his head his whole beard was shining with my juices. Then he got up and took his cock of his pants. He was hard again , then he grabbed my ankles and lifted my legs until my knees were touching my chest. The position was a little uncomfortable. Then he stroked the head of his cock to my pussy before he pushed in. This time I was so wet I moaned in pleasure not in pain.

" You good?"- he asked and I nodded.

That's when where he started pushing hard and fast. In this position I could feel him to my stomach. 

" Oh god , Silas!"- i moaned.

"Please!"- i said.

" Please make me come!"- i said and then he picked up his peace and slammed into me.

" I'm going to come!"- i said.

" Don't you fucking dare, we will come at the same time."- he ordered me.

" I can't. Silas, please!"- i begged.

He slapped my ass and that's when I came, my orgasm milking his dick inside of me. But then he growled, spreaded my legs and my ass touched the table. He layed the uperside of his body on top of me and bited my shoulder. Then he kissed me while fucking me and then he came filling me with his cum. He pulled out of me and tugged himself in and he buckled his belt. Seeing the belt reminded me the first time he hit me. I thought he was the worst. How wrong I was. The worst is Logan.

" Go take your books and come to my office. "- he said and left. 

And now the asshole cold Silas is back.

Fucking great.

I put my pants and  for a moment I thought about cleaning the dishes on the floor but he has a fucking servant, why should I do it? It's nice not having to clean everyday. I wonder if any of the servants has seen us fucking even though I've never seen them around when the men are at home except when it's meals time.

I went upstairs to my room. Grabbed the books and headed downstairs to Silas office. I opened the door  and he was already busy. I put the books on the coffee table and went to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and searched for a bottle of water but I saw vodka and lemon soda  an idea came. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and opened the freezer and grabbed some ice.  Then poured some vodka on it, then some lemon soda and ta da it was ready. Then I Searched the drawers for some straws and found some at the bottom drawer near the stove. I took a sip and it was delicious. Silas wouldn't notice it. I took the glass and went to Silas office. I put the glass on the coffee table and took the books on my lap.

" What's in that glass?"- Silas asked behind his desk. Yeah, Silas won't notice my ass.

" Just water with some ice!"- i replied. He chuckled.

" Water with bubbles?"- he asked and I furrowed my brows. When I saw that the soda has formed some bubbles I cursed under my breath.

“ It's sparkling water,”- i say.

His smirk faded.

“ Are you lying to me again Aria because in this house nobody drinks sparkling water?“- he turned intimidating.

" I'm fucked."- i whispered.

" Aria , let me ask you again, what's in tha glass?"- he asked while crossing his arm over his chest.

" Vodka with lemon."- i said the truth.

" Bring the glass here."- he ordered.

I put my books aside, got up, grabbed the glass and went behind Silas desk. I offered it to him and he took it sipping from the glass.

" With how strong you have made it, you will be out if you drink half the glass!"

" Go do your homework!"- he said and I went to take the glass from his hand but he slapped my hand away and glared at me.

I went to the sofa and studied for five hours straight. I have gone through the most of the chapter. My head is fucking throbbing. Only have three equations to solve but they were hard so I marked them for Logan. Then the chef came said that the lunch was ready. Silas wasn't hungry. I wasn't too but one glare from him and I eat half of the chicken and patatoes. By the time Logan came I had finished half of the second chapter.  He came and sat on the sofa next to me. While Silas was working we went through the equation I solved and Logan seemed satisfied.

" Can I take a hour break?"- i asked him.

" Yes, go take a break."- he said.

" Can I take the phone?"- i asked.

" No."- he immediately said.

" Where's the reason to buy it when you won't let me use it?"- i snapped.

" One strike!"- he said.

" Two to go before I beat your ass."- Logan said and I went still.

I left the office without saying anything else and went to the living room. There were Kade and Colin who were about to leave.